So, Ally sent me this link about a guy who sent an Iphone and an HD camera into space… like ya do… so it got us thinking that we should probably send something into space. It took me about 20 seconds to realize that the thing we should send is our friend Kassie, so I proposed this to Kassie. Here is the conversation that followed:

Aubrey: can Ally and I send you into space?

Kassie: for what purpose? I‘m not saying no, i just want to know why

Aubrey: umm to send you into space? that’s a pretty self contained goal

Kassie: naw. There has to be a reason why

Aubrey: well you can live blog on your way up

Kassie: why me?

Aubrey: because you can fold yourself into a tiny space, like a box

Kassie: why can’t i have spaceous living quarters

Aubrey: well if we were building a space resort we’d probably be the ones going

Kassie: you can’t fold yourself into small spaces? that can be your new goal

Aubrey: I can’t fold myself into big spaces

Kassie: lots of yoga, yoga is good for you!

Aubrey: re-focus woman, so if we get a comfy box, a parachute, and some handwarmers (it’s cold in space) you’d be good? You wouldn’t need any food this whole round trip only takes a few hours.

Kassie: oh ok! ya sure, i thought this was a long period of time. ya… i could do a day trip

Aubrey: sweet. Also, we’re going to need you to be naked because the video would probably sell better that way.

Kassie: but you just said it was cold!

Aubrey: well we’re going to insulate you and the camera from the outside world, we’ll have one camera facing in, and one facing out. Otherwise we’re going to have to sell ads and that’s going to be a pain.

Kassie: sell ads?

Aubrey: Ally and I don’t do anything without the intention of making money from it

Kassie: Then wouldn’t you have to do that anyway whether i was naked or not?

Aubrey: not necessarily, I think space porn would be big enough that we wouldn’t need ads

Kassie: i think i should get 50% of profits

Aubrey: 50%?! maybe like 15

Kassie: hells no, my safety, my body, my live blogging

Aubrey: all you’re doing is existing

Kassie: at least 50%

Aubrey: we’re going to SEND YOU TO SPACE

Kassie: YA. space is dangerous

Aubrey: 34%

Kassie: there is a possibility of me dying in space… 50%

Aubrey: we could hire a hooker for less than that

Kassie: but hookers are dumb and would not be able to pilot a space box

Aubrey: you don’t have to pilot the box, you just go up and then come down

Kassie: gotta go through the atmosphere… that requires piloting

Aubrey: false, you’re just in the box

Kassie: nope… gotta pilot. no deal.

Aubrey: you can’t pilot, it’s a box

Kassie: go put a hooker in a box, throw her into space, and let her burn up as she comes back

Aubrey: if by pilot you mean “roll over” then maybe. Who cares if the hooker burns up as long as the camera makes it back okay. Imagine a feature length video called a “a hot naked hooker gets burned to death in space.” It’d make billions, but we’re willing to forego that money in order to give you, our friend, the opportunity to go into space and be famous forever. 34%… plus 20% of the merchandising rights.

Kassie: hmmm… i’ll think about it.

 
With Kassie on board I went back to talk to Ally about the terms:

 
Allison: Why does kassie assume she’ll burn up when she enters the atmosphere again? this is not apollo 13, its a damn balloon. She will gently fall back to earth… at  about 115 mph.

Aubrey: I don’t think she understands how space works

Allison: I just laughed while on a conference call and I thought I was on mute… I was not.

Aubrey: maybe we should go with the hooker bit

Allison: I mean, why does she have to be a hooker?

Aubrey: hookers are expendable

Allison: The person could be a struggling college student… studying astronomy. Someone education-y.

Aubrey: no, they’d be all sciency, we want sheer entertainment value. Plus there’s not a single hot astronomer in the entire world.

Ally then pointed out that this astronomer isn’t bad looking, and she found what is easily, the most awkward video on the internet.

So clearly we still have a few things to work out. We’ll keep you posted.

Update: Kassie officially doesn’t know how Space works.

Kassie: Just so we’re clear, so i wouldn’t be going into the SPACE part of space… just up into the atmosphere…

Aubrey: space is space!

Kassie: NO! there’s like a barrier, and when you pass through it you can’t get back in unless you can pilot your box at the right angle.

Aubrey: what the hell are you talking about?

Kassie: go watch Apollo 13 again I think I memorized that movie at one time.

Aubrey: The Earth does not have like a forcefield around it

Kassie: ya it does! omg… go watch Apollo 13… if you don’t go at the right angle you can bounce off or something… or maybe you just burn up. I think you just burn up. The guy that sent the HD camera into space didn’t go all the way to SPACE it was just in the atmosphere… but CLOSE to space

Aubrey: The Apollo shuttle would burn up because the spaceship is going like a kajillion miles an hour, you’d be going like .5 mph and that camera was absolutely in space.

Kassie: no it wasn’t

Aubrey: Yes it was, you can’t just zip back into the atmosphere if you’re going a billion miles an hour because the friction of the earths atmosphere would cause whatever vehicle you’re in to heat up to like 56 million degrees. However, if you’re just sort of hanging out up there you can pass in and out of the atmosphere at will.

Kassie: I don’t think so, try it with the hooker first.